Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Scientists Bolster Toby's Self-Esteem!

SANTA ANA,CA For no tangible reason, I feel better about myself.
Slappy McShinetopper
Tossed up by numbersix.

Brent Lilley is Alive & Well

I just wanted to post this photo, begin your vicious sniping in the comments section.
Tossed up by numbersix.

Remember, Voting Is NOT For Kids

One day we will be older than the guy running for President. Will that be wierd?
Tossed up by numbersix.

Kane Matrixa

untitled image
Tossed up by numbersix.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Pandering "Pro-Tank" post

Guy and the boys are hard at work (some porn included) in the hallowed halls of Paramount Studios in Hollywood. They are charged with the task of mixing up a fresh batch of chocolate chip toe-tappers.


Monday, July 26, 2004

Paranoid Conspiracy Monday

I'm a big fan of civil liberty. Chances are this really stems from a healthy amount (is there a healthy amount?) of paranoia that I've been carting around with me for some time. In recognition of this I am slightly hesitant to post a link to the ACLU. The American Cilvil Liberties Union has been pretty effectively marginalized by the 'powers that be' as a bit of a wack-job think tank, but this link at the very least plays a funny little flash movie that illustrates concerns I've had for some time.

Bite into a slice of freedom!

Friday, July 23, 2004

cheese friday

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Oh Yeah Sure Whatever

So what - you guys are all off doing stuff that's fun and being all footloose and caffeine free.
Well I had my fun this weekend too.  I worked, then I - I - - well I had fun too dammit!!
I discovered two new bands.  (Yes nobody has heard of these guys before me, so I did in fact discover them, smart ass)
Everyone should listen to these albums, and listen right now:
Simian - We Are Your Friends
It's 60s/70s/90s poppy Beatle-esque-ish stuff with really catchy doodads thrown in for good measure.  "Never Alone" and "La Breeze" are my favorite songs so far.  But every time I listen to them, I find something esle to be jealous of.
Sloan - (Any Album)
Another great little poppy band in the now "poop"ular 60s/70s T-Rex kind of rock style.  Hooky and gruff, like that bad milk in the fridge you can't help but sniff every time you open it.
So see, us "other" people do stuff too.  It's just not quite as, hmmm how shall I say it - oh yes, not quite as fun.

Friday, July 16, 2004

It's Cheese Friday!

Even monkeys like cheese. I'm sure if I read this book it would have all sorts of stories about monkeys who love cheese.
So therefore you should too.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Girl Scouts Introduce New Tactics To Fight "Cookie Deadbeats"

August Meadows, MD - Caryn Musgraves acting President for Girl Scouts of America (GSA) unveiled their latest "tool in fighting the good fight" at a pre-Jamboree "Cookie Strategy Meeting" yesterday.
"For too long, the collection process has been hampered by deadbeats" Musgrave announced in a closed-door "No Weeblos or boyz" [sic] meeting with inner circle members of the organization.
"Nobody stiffs me again" bragged Amy Rossman-Peete, the 13-year-old "Poster Girl" for the new program who was involved in an incident last year, where a man who had ordered several boxes of the mint chip cookies flatly "refused to pay for them and then stole and them all anyway". All firearms are on indefinate loan from the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) who instituted a similar program last year to keep gay scouts out of the organization.

What is in a name? - by Toby

what does this guy have in common

with this guy?

and this guy?

and this guy?

They are all named Toby...

Oh yeah? Well google your name and see what happens.

I am the bad guy.

Sometimes being nice doesn't work. Sometimes, to get things done, you have to be the bad guy.
Being the bad guy is something I'm good at, and that sucks.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Fish vs. Weezie - Fish Wins!!!


In a shock to dedicated Dead Pool-ers everywhere, TV sitcom icon Abe Vigoda has outlived TV sitcom icon Isabel Sanford. Our thoughts and prayers go to Ms. Sanford's family and a playful pat on the fanny goes to Mr. Vigoda.

Friday, July 09, 2004

It's Cheese Friday!

More fun with Milk and Cheese.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

"Uh, I think it's spelled BUTT"

Sign me up for those 'But Tickets'!

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

"I told you so..." -by Toby

Why didn't we think of this? Did I ever tell you how Adam and I had the idea for Cafe Press WAY before they came out. But would anyone listen, NO. You all laughed. You all laughed like this...


I hope you are all happy with yourselves. Here I am practically destitute and these Cafe Press jokers are laughing all the way to the bank.

Don't even get me started on how I came up with the P'Zone�...

Only mine was called The Floppizza�

Damn you Pizza Hut, damn you to hell!!

I need a rest.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Talk – Action = ZERO!

I know how a GREAT many of
YOU feel. This is just a nagging reminder to you my friends…
Talk – Action = ZERO!
Have you registered yet? Voicing your opinion, wearing t-
shirts, stickers, passing out fliers etc... is all great but
means absolutely NOTHING is you don’t register and vote. It’s
that simple. PLEASE, no matter who you plan on voting for, go
out TODAY and register. Go to your local post office and do it.
It’s is so important. Especially in this election. Think about
the many THOUSANDS of people who died for you, me, your family,
friends and countless others protecting our right to vote.
Sound corny? No, it doesn’t. It’s the least we can do to
remember them….

-Dr. Strange newsletter.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Hey baby...

It's the Fourth of July.

Friday, July 02, 2004

NEWS: Justin's "special" Friend Is Dead.

Close personal friend of Smart Patrol's own Justin Armao (and reasonably successful actor) Marlon Brando died today of congestive heart failure.
He will be sorely missed by Justin who has called Brando his friend since an 'all-too-brief' encounter on the set of Don Juan DeMarco in 1991.
"If only it was Marlon Wayans who had died", said a source close to the Armao family when asked for comment.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Drive A Green Camaro? Kill Yourself

There's this green Camaro that parks at my place. Last night the driver had parked across one-and-a-half spaces, leaving no space for me. I had to put my car outside the protective gates of the bunker's compound. All night I was worried that someone was gonna break in and steal my stereo (the first decent car stereo that I have EVER owned). I was lucky and nothing happened. However, green Camaro is my sworn enemy, I'm taking him down.