Well this Thursday (a.k.a. - tomorrow) the Altrusitic Puma just may have a giant (well maybe medium to smallish medium sized) surprise in store for all, or at least most, of those who attend. I will try my best to get there for a little bit. (Ya see the Laker game is on, a very important playoff one at that, and I have to pick my good lady wife up after work because of car problemos)
Otherwise, I have been up to jack and squat. Mostly squat due to something very bad that has since ran through my belly, into the toilet, then floating aimlessly somewhere around the Huntington Beach Waste Facility and coming soon to a small innocent toddler bathing in the ocean's dirty bad water near you.
So anyway, come this Thursday y'all, and you too may (if I have enough) come across a free gift. And no, it's not a trampoline and/or a sailboat, but it could be made into one - hmmmm???
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Lord of the Peeps
Love Lord of the Rings? Love Marshmellow Easter Candy? Not as much as this whacko.
www.lordofthepeeps.com
www.lordofthepeeps.com
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Enough Puma
I don't have much to say right now, I was just sick of the Altruistic Puma's empty promises of sparklers and tartar sauce.
I am legend.
tw
I am legend.
tw
Thursday, May 06, 2004
I Am The Altruistic Puma
Yes, I know that much to the chagrin or delight of most people around the world I have been far too absent from the Smart Patrol blog.
Well, I have now decided to document my incredible lack of activity in the world again, here at the home of the deadly but pretty Smart Patrol.
What have I been up to recently? First off, I have been conducting an experiment in finding out just how long I can remain in the clothes I slept in before I have t ogo to my "more exciting than ever" job. (The record currently stands at 8:30 a.m. until 3:30 p.m.) I have also been sitting at our dining room table dealing four hands of Texas Hold 'Em to myself and imaginary oppponents. The best part of this being that it is like gambling without all the fun and the money. Wait, I meant the worst part. By the way, I won for the first time only two nights ago. I have also continued to rape the record industry of their profits (partly out of anger at the prices for medicore to crappy music nowadays and partly because, well - it's free) and have bolstered my music collection to a healthy amount that I shouldn't mention here on the off chance that someone from the RIAA is either reading my posst or monitoring my brain (via the implant I recently discovered embedded in my left shoulder, but I digress...) Due to the amount of heat that that bastard God has decided to dole out to us humans recently, I have also been sitting directly under any fan I can find or sitting in my A/C'd car for unhealthy amounts of time.
Other than that, I've been doing nothing but waking, drawing, working and coming home to watch American Chopper reruns.
Anyway, I hereby promise to post more often and quit ignoring my duties to the well being of The Smart Patrol.
Well, I have now decided to document my incredible lack of activity in the world again, here at the home of the deadly but pretty Smart Patrol.
What have I been up to recently? First off, I have been conducting an experiment in finding out just how long I can remain in the clothes I slept in before I have t ogo to my "more exciting than ever" job. (The record currently stands at 8:30 a.m. until 3:30 p.m.) I have also been sitting at our dining room table dealing four hands of Texas Hold 'Em to myself and imaginary oppponents. The best part of this being that it is like gambling without all the fun and the money. Wait, I meant the worst part. By the way, I won for the first time only two nights ago. I have also continued to rape the record industry of their profits (partly out of anger at the prices for medicore to crappy music nowadays and partly because, well - it's free) and have bolstered my music collection to a healthy amount that I shouldn't mention here on the off chance that someone from the RIAA is either reading my posst or monitoring my brain (via the implant I recently discovered embedded in my left shoulder, but I digress...) Due to the amount of heat that that bastard God has decided to dole out to us humans recently, I have also been sitting directly under any fan I can find or sitting in my A/C'd car for unhealthy amounts of time.
Other than that, I've been doing nothing but waking, drawing, working and coming home to watch American Chopper reruns.
Anyway, I hereby promise to post more often and quit ignoring my duties to the well being of The Smart Patrol.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Monday, May 03, 2004
Meet The Newest Member Of The Smart Patrol
Hey Kids,
This is my new buddy "Parker" aka "Rod". I rescued him from the ASPCA animal shelter in Huntington Beach on Saturday. He is a 3 year old Corgi/Chow mix who may have belonged to a homeless person at some point. I thought "Rod" was a stupid name for a dog and apparently he does too because he never responds when you say it. I'm not sure where Parker came from it just seems to fit though. It makes me think of the old TV show "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" and/or Spider-Man's alter ego Peter Parker. So, you can take your pick on which one you would rather relate the name to.
He's been a really nice dog so far. He doesn't bark. He hasn't tried to "GO" in the house. He likes being where ever the people are and want's his head or belly rubbed. Or he'll go sit out on the side porch and watch all the other dogs and people go by. He did escape for about an hour and a half Saturday night. After being lethargic and slow for most of the day he decided to show us how fast he was by running past Tony as he left the apartment. After we had given up looking for him Toby found him relaxing on somebody's front porch waiting for them to let him in. I hope he just got confused as to which house is his. They do all look the same especially from eight inches off the ground.
Parker is having his manhood removed today as mandated by state law. I'm sure every male reading this feels for him but it sure will be funny if he comes home with a big cone on his head. (Should this happen, pictures will be posted later.) I'm gonna take him to get registered and chipped later this week. Tony and I were hoping we could get Lojack or some kind of WiFi installed for tracking purposes later. I'll have to look into that. For now, we will just have to tighten up security on the Turnbaugh compound.
For more pictures of Parker check my Hiplog.
This is my new buddy "Parker" aka "Rod". I rescued him from the ASPCA animal shelter in Huntington Beach on Saturday. He is a 3 year old Corgi/Chow mix who may have belonged to a homeless person at some point. I thought "Rod" was a stupid name for a dog and apparently he does too because he never responds when you say it. I'm not sure where Parker came from it just seems to fit though. It makes me think of the old TV show "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" and/or Spider-Man's alter ego Peter Parker. So, you can take your pick on which one you would rather relate the name to.
He's been a really nice dog so far. He doesn't bark. He hasn't tried to "GO" in the house. He likes being where ever the people are and want's his head or belly rubbed. Or he'll go sit out on the side porch and watch all the other dogs and people go by. He did escape for about an hour and a half Saturday night. After being lethargic and slow for most of the day he decided to show us how fast he was by running past Tony as he left the apartment. After we had given up looking for him Toby found him relaxing on somebody's front porch waiting for them to let him in. I hope he just got confused as to which house is his. They do all look the same especially from eight inches off the ground.
Parker is having his manhood removed today as mandated by state law. I'm sure every male reading this feels for him but it sure will be funny if he comes home with a big cone on his head. (Should this happen, pictures will be posted later.) I'm gonna take him to get registered and chipped later this week. Tony and I were hoping we could get Lojack or some kind of WiFi installed for tracking purposes later. I'll have to look into that. For now, we will just have to tighten up security on the Turnbaugh compound.
For more pictures of Parker check my Hiplog.
New Feature: Live from Iraq
As part of an assignment to assist in the completion of his GED,PFC Norris "The Rooster" Cahern sends us an unfiltered and brutally honest account of his exploits serving in Iraq. WARNING: MAY CONTAIN ADULT LANGUAGE, BAD SPELLING AND EXCESSIVE USE OF THE WORD "DUDE".
Dude, get this I am totally in Iraq right now, for reals. Dude it is hot here and the people don't know how to speak or nothing like that. They wave at us and stuff, sometimes they tell us stuff, they talk to this dude named Chris who is from St. Louis and he speaks there language, which I think is call farty, dude I'm not kidding, farty.
So this Chris dude, he's all like "we gotta go get these guys" and I'm all like "No duh" and he's all giving me the stink eye and I'm all like "Face! bro". We have laughs like that all the time.
You can't get Molson Golden here, which sucks.
Dude, so one time we were getting all shot at stuff, and I'm all like "Whoa, this sucks" and then these Italian soldiers show up and so I'm like "Mamma Mia, this sucks" right? Well, they didn't know what I was saying, cause they don't have TV in Rome (where the bread is from).
The girls here cover up their faces, I guess they need to.
I gotta go, we have an Iraqui prinsoner and we're taking it in turns to do impressions of him. I just pretend he's the guy from the Simpsons and we get a big laugh out of that.
Rooster
Sunday, May 02, 2004
The Shining in 30 seconds.
About a month ago I posted a link to a HILARIOUS flash movie of The Exorcist in 30 seconds (re-enacted by bunnies). The movie was created by Jennifer Shiman and she has just posted her latest opus The Shining. You owe it to yourself to watch. Check out the rest of their site for funny timewasters.
toby
toby
Saturday, May 01, 2004
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