FREE SHOW!!!

Remember how much fun you had at the last show? Well this time it's free, so that means you'll have more money for drinks!

So then she rear ended the guy in front of her... THE END

I was a passenger in the BMW at the center of the photo. To the right you'll see a white Dodge, that's the lady who hit us. To the left (but not visible) is the pick-up truck we bounced off. thePrisoner

So then she rear ended the guy in front of her... THE END Tossed up by numbersix.

Grilled Cheese Friday Update:

Sonya Thomas is the World Grilled Cheese Eating Champion. She ate 25 grilled cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes.
She won $3,500 in prize money and is now ranked #1 in the USA (with 22 world titles) by the I.F.O.C.E..

"I really wasn't full after the 10-minute sprint, and went for dessert afterwards. That actually was my first time eating GCSs (grilled cheese sandwiches) they're tasty!"

Orange County's Jed "The Jalapeno King" Donahue and Rich "The Locust" LeFevre both consumed 23 grilled cheeses for the second place tie.

awesome

Grilled Cheese Friday

Plenty of Bread on the Line at World Grilled Cheese Eating Championship
Tomorrow 1 pm Venice Beach CA


It will be a cross between a major sporting event and a religious pilgrimage when the nation’s top competitive eaters gather in Venice Beach, CA, for the Goldenpalace.com® World Grilled Cheese Eating Championship in honor of the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich, a 10-year-old sandwich with the image of woman many think is the Blessed Virgin burned into the bread.

The World Grilled Cheese Eating Championship will take place on February 12, 2005 at 1 p.m. with the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich on display during the contest. The former owner of the Sandwich, Diana Duyser, will also be there to share the story of the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese. The event, which will showcase competitive eating’s finest athletes, will feature $10,000 in prize money, making it one of the most lucrative events on the competitive eating circuit.

GoldenPalace.com recently purchased the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich for $28,000 from Florida resident Diana Duyser. The 10-year-old sandwich is believed by the faithful to bear the unmistakable likeness of the Virgin Mary. In fact, the image appears in such vivid detail that viewers often faint upon seeing it for the first time. The sandwich is ten years old and was stored with no preservation yet She remains remarkably free of mold, adding an inexplicable paranormal element to Her.

“We are thrilled to highlight the tour of the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese with the World Grilled Cheese Eating Championship,” said Richard Rowe, CEO of GoldenPalace.com. “Diana Duyser, the former owner of the Sandwich, truly believes that it is special and has brought her tremendous luck over the last ten years. She auctioned it off on eBay hoping that the buyer would share it with the world and we intend to do just that.”

“This is more than just an eating contest,” said George Shea, chairman of the International Federation of Competitive Eating. “It’s a pilgrimage.”

But is she hot?

British woman jailed for tearing off ex-lover's testicle with hand

Thu Feb 10,12:07 PM ET

Offbeat - AFP

LONDON (AFP) - A British woman who ripped off her ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands and then tried to swallow it was jailed for two and a half years.

Amanda Monti, 24, became enraged when 37-year-old Geoffrey Jones rejected her advances at the end of a party. She yanked off his left testicle before trying to swallow it, Liverpool Crown Court in northwest England was told.

Monti choked and spat the testicle out, before a friend handed it back to Jones with the words: "That's yours."

Monti was jailed on Thursday after pleading guilty to wounding, with judge Charles James noting that the "very serious injury" was not even the result of self defence.

In a statement read to the court, Jones, a bodybuilder, said the attack had "ruined my life".

The incident happened following a party last May, shortly after Jones had ended the couple's relationship, prosecutors told the court.

At a friend's house, Jones rebuffed Monti's advances and she was forced outside following a struggle, only to smash a window and storm back in.

"Suddenly I found Amanda standing in front of me," the victim's statement said, saying the pair grappled on the ground, and after she ripped off his short trousers he stood up.

"She was still on the ground and she grabbed my genitals and pulled hard. That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain," he said.

After trying to swallow the organ, she handed it to Jones's friend. Doctors were unable to re-attach it.

Cheese Friday: The dark side.

If you ate the Cheese, I wouldn't have to hit you.



Women belted boy for refusing to eat cheese
Leanne Edmistone
25jan05

BELTING a child repeatedly for refusing to eat the cheese in his dinner was gratuitous violence, not parental discipline, Brisbane District Court judge Milton Griffin said yesterday.

A 32-year-old woman and the boy's mother, 24, were sentenced to a six-month intensive correctional order, which requires them to report twice a week to police and undergo counselling, medical treatment and complete programs as necessary.

The women, who cannot be named for legal reasons, pleaded guilty on Friday to assaulting a seven-year-old boy with a belt, causing extensive bruising to his face, legs and buttocks.

His mother also held the boy's arms while the other woman tried to force feed him the cheese.

The incident happened on February 25 last year, when the boy, his younger sister and mother were staying with the family of the boy's school friend in an outer suburb of Brisbane.

It came to light when the boy's mother was stopped by police for traffic offences several days later and officers noticed the boy's injuries.

Judge Griffin yesterday said while the 32-year-old woman landed most of the blows, the mother was equally responsible, because her son would have trusted her to protect him.

"This was a sustained and cruel assault on the boy," he said.

"This is not a case of discipline going beyond the bounds of what was reasonable, this was gratuitous violence against the child."

SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND EAT YOUR CHEESE!

THIS JUST IN: You're Awesome!!!

So get used to it!!

CONCERT REVIEW: King Neptune @ The Tank, Bar & Grille

Review by Jeremy Paciorowsky for Sound Re-Enforcement VIII
First of all, I should say that I was way onto King Neptune before anybody had ever heard of them. I have a cd-r from a show they did like 3 years ago.

King Neptune really know how to bring the rock!

First off they opened with their hit, I missed most of it because the crowd was yelling "STEVE, STEVE" in honor of their lead singer whose name is Steve. The crowd was really into the band but when I got back from the restroom, someone had totally snaked my barstool (not cool guys) so I had to stand at the back near this really weird dude with a mullet and a rainbow tank-top.

After two more songs the guy in the tank-top was really creeping me out so I went over by the bar where there was this slamming hottie who looked like the dude who was hitting on her was starting to bother her. So I strolled up and pretended I knew her from school (which I had seen on an episode of "One Tree Hill"). But she didn't seem to get the idea and the guy she was talking to told me to "get lost" (not very original, dude). Because I am driving with a few tickets on my record, I decided I didn't want any trouble and told the guy that I didn't want to rumble, which was lucky for him because I took taekwondo for three semesters. He then called me a "fag" and told me to get lost before he "bitch slapped me back to Westminister" (I don't even live in Westminister, so that was a total 'face' on that guy).

Just then something must have happened to the lead singer because everyone started yelling "STEVE, STEVE" so I looked over but didn't see anything so I guess he was OK. At that exact moment the hottie accidentally spilled her drink and said she had to go to the bathroom for a paper towel, I assume she meant for me, since most of the drink landed on my jacket.

After a few minutes (I guess she was stuck in a line or something) I decided to catch the rest of the show (which was awesome). Afterwards some dude puked right by where I was standing.

I would recommend this band.

Jeremy Paciorowsky

Go see show.

it's plain as day, people...

FIRST you see The Tank
THEN you die.

Do it for Johnny...

"Hi, folks! Johnny Carson here, y'know folks recently I went and passed away. Too bad for me, but good for you since that's one extra spot at King Neptune's this weekend for that show featuring The Tank. Boy those young fellahs make Leif Garrett look like Adrian Zmed - Hey now!!"

Celebrity testimonials impersonated. Mr. Carson was not an official contributor to The Smart Patrol, and is unlikely to become one now that he has died. However we did come pretty close to letting George Burns join, but it turns out it was Rich Little just trying to pull one over on us. We were pretty mad at the time but had to respect Rich for trying, after all he is all washed up and stuff, poor bastard.

Gay Alert!

Is this really a huge problem that America is facing? I guess we should be teaching kids to ostracize and hate people who are different than themselves?
YAY! Lets teach hate in church and creationism in schools! YAY!

U.S. Christian Groups Issue Gay Warning Over Kid Video
Thu Jan 20, 7:39 PM ET
- Reuters

By Jill Serjeant

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Christian Conservative groups have issued a gay alert warning over a children's video starring SpongeBob SquarePants, Barney and a host of other cartoon favorites

The wacky square yellow SpongeBob is one of the stars of a music video due to be sent to 61,000 U.S. schools in March. The makers -- the nonprofit We Are Family Foundation -- say the video is designed to encourage tolerance and diversity.

But at least two Christian activist groups say the innocent cartoon characters are being exploited to promote the acceptance of homosexuality.

"A short step beneath the surface reveals that one of the differences being celebrated is homosexuality," wrote Ed Vitagliano in an article for the American Family Association.

The video is a remake of the 1979 hit song "We Are Family" using the voices and images of SpongeBob, Barney, Winnie the Pooh, Bob the Builder, the Rugrats and 100 TV cartoon stars. It was made by a foundation set up by songwriter Nile Rodgers after the Sept. 11, 2001, hijacked plane attacks to promote the nation's healing process.

Christian groups however have taken exception to the tolerance pledge on the foundation's Web site which asks people to respect the sexual identity of others along with their abilities, beliefs, culture and race.

"Their inclusion of the reference to 'sexual identity" within their 'tolerance pledge' is not only unnecessary but it crosses a moral line," Dr James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, said in a statement on Thursday.

Rodgers was astounded at the attack. "That is so myopic and harsh. You have really got to look hard to find anything in this that is offensive to anyone. The last thing I am going to do is taint these characters," he told Reuters.

Dobson was quoted by the New York Times on Thursday as having singled out the wildly popular SpongeBob during remarks about the video at a Washington D.C. dinner this week.

SpongeBob, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, was "outed" by the U.S. media in 2002 after reports that the TV show and its merchandise was popular with gays. His creator, Stephen Hillenburg, said at the time that although SpongeBob was an oddball, he thought of all the characters as asexual.

It is not the first time that children's TV favorites have come under the critical spotlight of the U.S. Christian right. Tinky Winky, the purse-toting purple Teletubbie, was in 1999 declared a homosexual role model by Rev. Jerry Falwell.