It's Jason's birthday. Give him a call.
--thePrisoner (from Sidekick)
Friday, December 09, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
History in the Making
In a bold move, the BBC has decided to counter “the Most Watched Network” on television with their own highly anticipated fashion show. Execs for the British network have been quoted as saying “It’s been 130 years in the making, and the old gal has never looked better!”
-Submitted by Tony Hope
Monday, December 05, 2005
CBS Press release
CBS announces the December 6th broadcast of the 2005 Victoria's Secret Fashion show will be the first in its new Pixelvision 360™ format.
"The Colombia Broadcasting System is committed to developing cutting edge technology in order to provide the viewing public with the highest quality family programming possible for free!" raves new CBS Vice President of Standards and Practices Abner Q. Fussybottom. "Not even the largest of nipples can evade our new process, thus ensuring families will be safe for any and all sorts wardrobe malfunctions or other lascivious acts so common on other networks!" declared Mr. Fussybottom to nods of approval among several high-ranking members of the FCC in attendance. Mr Fussybottom, now sweating profusely, continued, "In these difficult times it is imperative that we do our utmost to combat the moral decay that threatens the very fabric of our society, lest those who would destroy us may use our towering technological achievements against us!" As Mr. Fussybottom finished, he thrust his fist in the air. Red, white, and blue balloons fell from the rafters to the tune of Bruce Springsteen's Born In The USA* blasted forth from the public address system. When order was restored Mr. Fussybottom added that the first fifteen seasons of Murder, She Wrote will be available for download on Apple's iTunes service in January. Mr Fussybottom then left the podium and discretely placed a call to his broker to sell all of his outstanding Viacom shares immediately.
*The version used in the George H. W. Bush presidential campaign with the second verse editied out. Something about "Killing the yellow man" or Viet Nam or something. Not a big Springsteen fan, sorry.
-Submitted by Scotty "nipple" Francisco
Photoslop Monday: CBS: No HD for VS
CBS will not show the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in HD. It turns out, fashion models in HD look ugly. Who knew?Please have all submissions in by Tuesday 9:00PM PST. If you are not a member of the SmartPatrol and wish to participate send your entry to me. Click on Mr. DNA, under contributors, for the email address.
Last week the Judges picked thePrisoner's entry " Apology Not Accepted..." as the winner.
But the Audience Prize has been awarded to Tony Hope's entry "Alien Nation".
Congrats dudes, your prize is in the mail.
... and as always, Justin's entries hold a special place in my heart.
Keep up the good work!
Jerry, Kamikaze, Tony P., Scotty F., Puma, where have you been?
Friday, December 02, 2005
Why was this in the men's room?
Pregnancy and Alcohol Do Not Mix.
Sure, but if'n I'm in the boys room I prolly ain't 'with-child'. So I might as well order m'self a Harvey Wallbanger.
--thePrisoner (from Sidekick)
Free Show Tonight!!!!
Friday December, 2 2005 at Liam's
1087 South Mount Vernon Ave., Colton, CA
With SLAB, Mulch, Wasted Society, and The Misguided
21+
It's SLAB's CD release party.
Show starts at 9:00 and I have no idea when we play.
Cheese Friday: Bad, bad, bad...
Mom Allegedly Spikes Mac & Cheese With Bleach
AP-10:04 am CST November 29, 2005
CORAOPOLIS, Pa. -- A mother has been charged with trying to poison her adult daughter and her daughter's family by pouring bleach into their macaroni and cheese dinner.
Moon Township, Pa., Police say 56-year-old Nancy O'Donnell is charged with four counts of both aggravated assault and recklessly endangering another person after Saturday night's incident.
Police said O'Donnell poured the bleach on a meal Saturday night that her daughter, Victoria Lynn O'Donnell, was preparing for her live-in boyfriend, Jamal Scott, and their 6-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter.
Court records said Victoria Lynn O'Donnell confronted her mother who allegedly said she wanted to sicken her daughter, telling her that she didn't deserve her children.
Nancy O'Donnell is being held on $25,000 bond.
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