Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Go see show.

it's plain as day, people...

FIRST you see The Tank
THEN you die.

Do it for Johnny...

"Hi, folks! Johnny Carson here, y'know folks recently I went and passed away. Too bad for me, but good for you since that's one extra spot at King Neptune's this weekend for that show featuring The Tank. Boy those young fellahs make Leif Garrett look like Adrian Zmed - Hey now!!"

Celebrity testimonials impersonated. Mr. Carson was not an official contributor to The Smart Patrol, and is unlikely to become one now that he has died. However we did come pretty close to letting George Burns join, but it turns out it was Rich Little just trying to pull one over on us. We were pretty mad at the time but had to respect Rich for trying, after all he is all washed up and stuff, poor bastard.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Another silly internet game to kill time

Try this and see how far you can keep this drunk man up.
You just move your mouse left to right (no clicking) to keep him walking in a straight line. The object of the game is to keep him
walking, without falling over, by using your mouse from left to right or
right to left - you can't see your mouse which makes it more difficult.
Apparently the record is 82 meters! And it's in German.

Gay Alert!

Is this really a huge problem that America is facing? I guess we should be teaching kids to ostracize and hate people who are different than themselves?
YAY! Lets teach hate in church and creationism in schools! YAY!

U.S. Christian Groups Issue Gay Warning Over Kid Video
Thu Jan 20, 7:39 PM ET
- Reuters

By Jill Serjeant

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Christian Conservative groups have issued a gay alert warning over a children's video starring SpongeBob SquarePants, Barney and a host of other cartoon favorites

The wacky square yellow SpongeBob is one of the stars of a music video due to be sent to 61,000 U.S. schools in March. The makers -- the nonprofit We Are Family Foundation -- say the video is designed to encourage tolerance and diversity.

But at least two Christian activist groups say the innocent cartoon characters are being exploited to promote the acceptance of homosexuality.

"A short step beneath the surface reveals that one of the differences being celebrated is homosexuality," wrote Ed Vitagliano in an article for the American Family Association.

The video is a remake of the 1979 hit song "We Are Family" using the voices and images of SpongeBob, Barney, Winnie the Pooh, Bob the Builder, the Rugrats and 100 TV cartoon stars. It was made by a foundation set up by songwriter Nile Rodgers after the Sept. 11, 2001, hijacked plane attacks to promote the nation's healing process.

Christian groups however have taken exception to the tolerance pledge on the foundation's Web site which asks people to respect the sexual identity of others along with their abilities, beliefs, culture and race.

"Their inclusion of the reference to 'sexual identity" within their 'tolerance pledge' is not only unnecessary but it crosses a moral line," Dr James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, said in a statement on Thursday.

Rodgers was astounded at the attack. "That is so myopic and harsh. You have really got to look hard to find anything in this that is offensive to anyone. The last thing I am going to do is taint these characters," he told Reuters.

Dobson was quoted by the New York Times on Thursday as having singled out the wildly popular SpongeBob during remarks about the video at a Washington D.C. dinner this week.

SpongeBob, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, was "outed" by the U.S. media in 2002 after reports that the TV show and its merchandise was popular with gays. His creator, Stephen Hillenburg, said at the time that although SpongeBob was an oddball, he thought of all the characters as asexual.

It is not the first time that children's TV favorites have come under the critical spotlight of the U.S. Christian right. Tinky Winky, the purse-toting purple Teletubbie, was in 1999 declared a homosexual role model by Rev. Jerry Falwell.

Cheese Friday: Myths of Dairy

-Books like this one are spreading lies about dairy products.

Did you know?
The myth that minority groups such as African Americans should avoid milk and other dairy products because of lactose intolerance is not supported by scientific evidence. Lactose maldigestion (i.e., low levels of the intestinal enzyme lactase necessary to digest lactose or milk's sugar) is higher among some minority groups such as African Americans than Caucasians. However, studies demonstrate that lactose maldigesters can consume the recommended number of Milk Group servings by using a few simple dietary strategies (e.g., consuming milk with meals, yogurt with active cultures, and aged cheeses). Avoiding or limiting dairy foods, the major source of calcium, is particularly serious for minorities such as African Americans who are already at a disproportionately high risk of calcium-related chronic diseases such as hypertension, stroke, and colon cancer. New research indicates that risk of osteoporosis among African Americans is higher than previously assumed.

Fight the lies, eat some cheese.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Reno 911, for reals!

Nev. Man Castrates Himself to Lower Libido
Thu Jan 20, 4:04 PM ET
- AP

RENO, Nev. - A 50-year-old Reno man who was hospitalized after he castrated himself told police he learned of the procedure on the Internet and did so to lower his libido. The man, whose name was not released, called 911 at about 1:30 a.m. Monday and asked for help because he could not stop the bleeding from a self-castration operation, police said.

Reno police and medics responded to the man's home and he was taken by ambulance to the hospital.

Washoe Medical Center officials cited privacy issues on why they could not release any information on the man, including his condition. But police said hospital officials confirmed Wednesday the man successfully castrated himself.

"The man obviously needs some sort of counseling," Reno police Lt. Ron Donnelly told the Reno Gazette-Journal.

-unless yur real good at that internet.

nekid girls?

Hey there! Just in case you forgot, you should check out myspace.com/thetank and purevolume.com/thetank to hear some songs that you're guaranteed to love. It's so convenient and it's as quick as your ipod. You're already online now, so why not go to the sites and stream the tunes in the backround while you work or play? Also, as an added bonus, if you're one of the first to go to myspace.com, sign up, and join the tank's friends, I'll hook you up with one of our myspace friends that likes to send us pictures of her and her girlfriends! If you're female we also have this dude who likes to send pics, but they're more scary than sexy in my opinion.

Log On!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Friday, January 14, 2005

Cheese Friday: For your health.

I just want to remind everyone that Cheese Friday isn't always fun and games. There is a serious side to CF.
Cheese, and dairy products in general have been shown to have significant health benefits for Bone Health/Osteoporosis, Obesity/Weight Management, Heart Disease/ Hypertension, Cancer, Diabetes, and Dental Health. Click on the link above to find out more.

Cheese, it's not just for pizza, it's for your life.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Rejected Tank Flyer

As we all know there is a show coming up on the 29th. This was the rejected art for the flyer.

I'm kinda bummed. Click on the picture for a larger version.

Tossed up by numbersix.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

The Tank Are Playing A Show!!

Just a reminder, for those of you with calendars and schedules and the presence of mind to plan ahead.


and get this...



January 29th 2005
King Neptunes
17115 PCH (just north of Warner),
Huntington Beach

Plan on being there, and plan on bringing people, and plan on having a drinkie and plan on having a good time.

Boulder Tom sez " If'n I get the night off from lugging this rock all over Uganda, I will be there with my dancing shoes on"

Do it for Boulder Tom.

(good time not guaranteed)

D'you see?

Vedder, Beck Join Tenacious D's Tsunami Benefit

Tue Jan 11, 7:20 PM ET
Entertainment - Reuters
By Jonathan Cohen

NEW YORK (Billboard) - Tenacious D will be joined by such rock heavyweights as Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder (news), Beck, Foo Fighters leader Dave Grohl and Queens Of The Stone Age principal Josh Homme at a Jan. 17 benefit in Los Angeles for the victims of the Asian tsunami.

The Wiltern Theatre event will also boast an appearance by actor Will Ferrell (news). Tickets are $60 and $100. The show is being organized via the new collective Music for Relief, with proceeds to benefit the American Red Cross

I found out that tix go on sale today:
Tickets for the show go on sale today, Wednesday January 12 at 10am via Ticketmaster.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Big News from MacWorld

A little news story stolen from Gizmodo.com

Click the image for the full report.

Before the retalition starts, remember the points below:
1. Toby always wants us to post more. So, I did.
2. If it had been about buying anything else, you would have posted it about me.
3. Tony, you just wish you had done it first.
4. Come on, it's funny.

Monday, January 10, 2005

I don't know if this is funny or sad.

Preacher Dies During Sermon About Heaven
-AP Jan 10, 10:43 PM EST

OVIEDO, Fla. - A Presbyterian minister collapsed and died in mid-sentence of a sermon after saying "And when I go to heaven ...," his colleague said Monday.

The Rev. Jack Arnold, 69, was nearing the end of his sermon Sunday at Covenant Presbyterian Church in this Orlando suburb when he grabbed the podium before falling to the floor, said the Rev. Michael S. Beates, associate pastor at Covenant Presbyterian.

Before collapsing, Arnold quoted the 18th century Bible scholar, John Wesley, who said, "Until my work on this earth is done, I am immortal. But when my work for Christ is done ... I go to be with Jesus," Beates said in a telephone interview.

Several members of the congregation with medical backgrounds tried to revive the minister and paramedics were called, but Arnold appeared to die instantly, Beates said.

Arnold had been the senior minister at the church until the late 1990s when he began traveling to Africa and the Middle East to teach pastors. The cause of death was believed to be cardiac arrest. He had bypass surgery five years earlier.

Beates also recounted Arnold's death in an e-mail he sent to members of the Central Florida Presbytery.

"We were stunned," Beates said. "It was traumatic, but how wonderful it was he died in his own church among the people he loved the most."

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Filled with Delicious Cheese and.... EVIL!!!

And I thought I was doing well with all of my ebay auctions.