Friday, September 30, 2005

Teletubbies In Cocaine Bust?

After Andy's post on the secrets from the Teletubbies set, I felt compelled to post this bit of Teletubbie gossip. Find out the truth. Click the link below.

From The Smoking Gun

Cheese Friday: Locals only

Today's Cheese Friday is mostly for those of you in the greater O.C. area. It's a link to an article from the O.C. Weekly that lists a few places to go and eat... Cheese, of course. For anyone outside the area, think of it as a restaurant guide for the next time you visit.

Happy Cheese Friday Everyone!
Eat well.

This Week in Cheese

Insomnia Posting #27G: A few thoughts about my flight.

So, the last film of the last screening is copying right now. I have a moment to discuss my flight here. It was uneventful, but got off to a rocky start. Here is my plane. All shiny and clean.

But look closer, or just scope out the poorly executed blow-up shot below.

That's my pilot sitting on the window sill, wiping off the window with what appeared to be his jacket. Thinks I "This does not bode well for our hero" (me). I mean, I know that the airlines are having a tough time of it right now, but they can't afford the squeegie guy? What the hell is that poor bastard gonna do for a gig now? How much transferability could those skills possibly have?
"Uh, so tell us why you think you'd make a great addition to the team here at Gigantocorp™, Bob"

Well, Back in the day I was the squeegie guy for American Airlines, until they let me go. Downsized, you know how it is..."

Actually Bob I don't know how it is... I sold my immortal soul to Gigantocorp™ back on my prom night, and never looked back."

Sweet where do I sign?"
... and SCENE.

So the pilot likes clean windows, no biggie.
Then we sat on the jetway for an hour because Chicago was 'socked in'. The little rubber-ended ramp was retracted, technically we had left the airport. I sat in Irvine for the first hour of the flight, it was absurd. They even started the in-flight entertainment.

NOTE: Herbie Fully Loaded is sucks butt, and no I wasn't surprised to discover that, thank you very much.

Then I was offered a small boxed snack thingy, contents included tiny round corn chips, alleged Salsa, and something vaguely cheese-like... oh and a turkey jerky thingy (a gift for Nels when I arrived!). All for 3 bucks!! It's so sad what has become of American airlines, and American Airlines (how's that for intellectual?). Luckily they seem to have an endless supply of Everybody Loves Raymond to quell the angry horde - and it worked.

From Chicago:

thePrisoner (is 'mildly fond' of Raymond)

Click This And Save A Kitten!!

I love trailers, and so do you.

thePrisoner (hears voices, not the friendly kind)

courtesy of Scott Francisco, Hi Scott!!

Toby: Chicago Days pt.2

THURSDAY 9:00pm (Chicago Time)
I just finished the Romantic Comedy Reel (a good show). Nels is trying to figure out if he wants to make little openings and a thanks to the sponsor spot to put in each show. I don't want to. So I try to help him, it's like hitting your hand with a salami (it doesn't really hurt, but you don't really enjoy it either). I'm trying not to get all Mac vs. PC on him, but he doesn't have any decent applications so he's trying to make a DVD using some LE version of Nero from 2001.
Progress does not happen.
Scott arrived (I think it was an accident) and was only 3 hours late (Nels says 2.5, generous guy that he is). I have nothing to say to Scott and I think he knows it. He had to pick up 2 extra tapes for the last day of screenings and uses that as an excuse for his tardiness (he called 20 minutes before he arrived here to ask where the nearest Walgreens is, so I call shenanigans on that).
Nels is trying to edit a music jingle together, so I turned him on to Audacity. It is pretty basic, pretty simple but it doesn't read minds - therefore he had some adaptability problems with it. I can relate, but I am a lot more receptive to instruction than he is.
Scott just called the 3 Penny to arrange dropping off the 35mm reels to get spliced up for the show. His phoney telemarketer voice freaked out the girl on the other end of the phone (it's only her 3rd day at the place) so she handed the phone off. Maybe she thought he was trying to pull the toner scam on her. I have to admit for a second I thought he was too.
Now I do another reel, more to follow.
2:27am - We are making the 'Best of..." reel. I hate to break it to you but we select the best before the very first screening even begins. We have to, there are only so many hours in the day, and only so many folks to do the work. Nels is selecting his favorites, the whole show is based primarily on his selections and input from the other two judges. I can only guess how many films he has sat through in the last few months. I really think the show is pretty good.
I'm pretty beat, we didn't eat until a couple of hours ago and maybe that was too long.

Anyway, it'll all be over soon.

Andy, if you donate to Katrina...

So, Brian Wilson is crazy.

Katrina: Donate $100, get a call from Brian WIlson

If you donate $100 to Hurricane Katrina relief efforts, Brian Wilson (the Beach Boy) will call you on the phone.  Wilson "Here's my challenge: For anyone who sends a donation of $100 or more, I will call you personally and answer a question you may have, or just say hello. Also, Melinda and I will match the donation."

(from Boing Boing)

Further Ranting (and then I'm done)

The government just gave New Orleans relief fund 58 BILLION dollars!!

Have you been to New Orleans? If it was totally destroyed down to rubble and had to be rebuilt from scratch it wouldn't cost 58 billion dollars. Sure Bourbon Street is fun, but once you set foot off of that street it's like walking through that invisible wall in Time Bandits.

I'm sorry people lost their homes, but a lot of my sympathy went out the door when shooting of rescue helicopters and harassing of rescue officers began not but one day after the effort to get peopole out. Then 40% of the debit cards given out ($2,000 a piece) were spent on non-essential items (as verified by the merchants who cashed the things) such as t.v.'s and other luxury items. Sure not everyone took part in these blatant acts of stupidity but it is defintiely the 1,000 bad apples poil the tree kind of theory for me on this one. I blame the city of New Orleans for not getting these people out (no demanding they leave) when they should have. If people stayed voluntarily through this and still expect help when the inevitable struck them - well tough titties. For the people who couldn't get out, they should have been removed. They knew this was going to be bad (we had 5 days of warning about this storm on the west coast for christ's sake) they should have extracted them into shelters while they had days to do so. All this just about killed it for me.

There has been well over 300 million donated by sports organizations, 58 billion by the feds, a couple mil in debit cards for immediate help, countless rescue workers being harassed for trying to save people and they still want private citizens to take a hit on their paycheck day after day? Yeah sorry, noble cause and all (for the beginning) but I think they're ready to put the money to use.

I don't like watching people get hurt, but I really don't like watching the American public get guilded in the name of charity. Unless this money is being fully documented on exactly where it's going, I can't see giving any cash (especially after federal relief). Natural disasters are often horrific and never controllable (although some politically over-active people would like to blame everything and anything on those with power), however there are plenty of other disasters that go unchecked and uncared for day after day in this country with no attention whatsoever. I can't see how this is any worse than some of the other things going on in this country nowadays (and for a while as well).

Donate if you will, but know that you are donating blindly into a cause that is already well-funded by the agencies that are there to fund these type of things in the first place. I'm not going to get into why other countries around the world won't help us out (sans 1 or 2 with this hurricane deal) when we are constantly either bailing them out of trouble or being begged to help them financially at each and every turn.

It's gotten old. I'm sorry this happened, but it did and no amount of hearings over what went wrong will get things back to normal. Something messed up, fine, get over it and move forward. Start using the money for what it's intended for and cut the begging out. There's enough to get started, finsihed, destroyed, started and finished again.

You can't go forward if you're always looking behind you.

Whew! All better now.

So - - tits? boob? farts? dick? poopy pants?

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Toby: Chicago Days pt.1

It's midnight in California. That means it's two a.m. in Chicago.
I'm making the documentary reel for the Second Annual Chicago International REEL Shorts Festival (CIRSF2). I'm watching a really good documentary about a neighborhood in Brooklyn that goes crazy when it's time to decorate for Christmas. I judged this film back in California and now here I am making sure it get screened. Yay me!
Nels is answering e-mails, a lot of people who didn't get into the festival are complaining because they got an e-mail inviting them to attend anyway. For some reason they are really mad about it. My favorite two e-mails so far were (and I quote):
"First you reject my film, now you keep me on your list... not cool" and that was his entire e-mail!! My response was not kind and included the phrase 'grow up' Nels edited my reply, but it was still pretty harsh.
The second: "No, I will not attend. You are not showing my film 'Jack' and that is your audience's loss." what a pro!
By the way, Scott cashed it in for the evening at midnight, I asked Nels what he had done today, and Nels just shrugged. Unfortunately there is a lot of that. Folks getting by with zero accountability, and I can't just blame Scott for that, Nels doesn't want to get too organized either. Now pause for a second and consider this; I am the most organized and disciplined person here... yeah, I shuddered too!

THURSDAY 5:30pm (CHICAGO TIME) Been awake about 90 minutes. Worked all night until 10:30-11:00. We have Friday and Saturday's shows built and ready. We are still getting e-mails from filmmakers, some are now asking if they can bring a new screener copy of their film, or if they can have 20 passes for their extended family... the answer to each is the same (CLUE: Rhymes with "Go" as in "Go $#@! yourself"). Some of the films are really interesting, the documentary show is particularly strong (sure to be unattended) but Nels thinks overall the submissions were slightly weaker than last year. However he is a bit burned out, and I haven't seen all the shows yet. We are supposed to meet Scott in about an hour for a strategy session where he explains how walking around the DePaul University campus is sure to put asses on the seats (last year he did the same thing, student turn out was low and he had to buy himself new sneakers because his fallen arches were dessimated by the punishment they had endured). Seriously, Scott has avoided making eye-contact with me since I got here (he didn't have very long tho' because he split when the work started). He is supposed to be organizing a filmmaker's breakfast (last year's fizzled due to zero planning) and watching the screener copies of the fest to select the best of show program (which I will be assembling tonight as you all lie sleeping and dreaming the dreams of the just). It's fun to be here and have a mission. I am functioning on a steady diet of pb&j sandwiches and Diet Dr. Pepper. Don't tell anyone, but I wish I had another week of this.

I haven't heard about the TimeWarner Poker video, but I hope Eric made it pretty. In 12 hours no one will care.

More later (wireless permitting)

thePrisoner (come on Andy, give to the Katrina fund...)

Sure You Didn't Wanna Know, But...

I have nothing to do today and neither do you.


Please, if you have some time donate to my "Relief From The Hurricane Fund".

Seriously if I hear one more damn plea for cash I'm going to get all Jacob's Ladder on everyone and shake my head so hard it'll fall off and/or tend to make me a might queasy.

I couldn't fuckin' take it any more - I had to say something.

I suppose these guys will change their name now right - Sick Of Hearing About It

There now I feel better (at everyone's expense, ah hell - screw it).

Backmasking: My youth is back to haunt me, in a good way.

Are you old enough to remember records? Well if you are, you will probably enjoy this site. I'm feeling so evil and happy.
I had forgotten how much Satan loved marijuana and controlling rockstars. Good times.
Click here.

Thanks to Josh for the link

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


Fish Got A Posse?

This is not my photoslop entry.
Just out of love, baby.

Photoslop Monday: Andy Tries It, Likes It!


Orange County CA - Andy Cauble was the first in line for the new Ballchek™ program. Said Cauble, "Apart from the cold hands, they were surprisingly gentle".

Monday, September 26, 2005

Well it's exactly the Mona Lisa now where's my fuckin' prize?!

I is a regular Steve Davinci. Please mail my damn prize to 123 Main street Anytown USA 90210. The common sense* thing to do would be to send my friggin prize lickity split(R)**. If I don't receive my prize in a tidy amount of time then I will consider the prize issuer a Kentucky Fried Asshole.

* common sense not available in Kentucky.
** Lickity split is a registered trademark of Baskin Robbins and lesbian porn.

Because I Hate This Woman

Yeah so it's not the Mona Lisa, but at least it's something...

Photoslop Monday: The crowd goes mild

After last week's underwhelming response I thought about not posting today, but as you can see I did.

blah blah blah,

Please have all submissions in by Tuesday 9:00PM PDT. If you are not a member of the SmartPatrol and wish to participate send your entry to me. Click on Mr. DNA, under contributors, for the email address

Friday, September 23, 2005

Cheese Friday: But where's the cow bell?

I'm not sure if this is cool or horribly wrong.

Let us thank this Dutch dude for showing us one of the many other uses of Cheese.
More pictures of Han Bennink's "Drums O Cheese" can be found here.

Thanks to Toby (thePrisoner) for the link.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Channel101 Rocks!

For all you Kenny Loggins fans out there.


Watch all three episodes and then check out the rest of the site.
Trust me it's worth it.

I Like Cashews

No really, I like 'em.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Late Entry: My Laptop Ate My Homework

"Housewives" Crash Paterson Family Reunion, Kick Ass, Take Names...
Rialto, Ca (AP) Stars of ABC's hit show "Desperate Housewives" may have let their Emmy success go to their heads.

STAR JONES fruit leather it's fun!

but not very funny...

sorry I'm busy at work...trying to be funny
while keeping Lilylicious laughing.

sure hard work but somebody's got to do it.

Photoslop Monday Update.

Less than 12 hours to go and not one entry. I guess I expected more from you guys.
Could this be the end of Photoslop Monday????

Monday, September 19, 2005

Photoslop Monday: Many enter, few will win.

Please have all submissions in by Tuesday 9:00PM PDT. If you are not a member of the SmartPatrol and wish to participate send your entry to me. Click on Mr. DNA, under contributors, for the email address.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Cheese Friday: Once again Japan gets 'it'

Happy Cheese Friday everyone.

Japan is ahead of the curve again with "must have" products.
Vodafone has come out with "cheese" mobile phone covers.
If any of you would like to buy me a belated birthday present, feel free.
I think you'll need to get me a new phone too, these covers don't fit my phone.
Thanks in advance.

Click here for the engadget article.
Watch the commercial here!(WMV)

Thanks to Mr Kamikaze for the heads up.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Scott Baio Replies...

Not only did I make Zapped, with some assistance from Willie Ames (a square) but I also nailed Pamela Anderson - take that Al Qaeda!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Hello Mr. Al Queda ummmm we are the country that made Zapped!

Not so talkative now are you? Why don't you hop on your regret bike and ride into apologyville. Who in their right mind would crap on the country that made Zapped? You don't crap on Zapped! Zapped craps on you! Zapped drives by your sand igloo then makes a three point turn and comes back to take a super duper shit on your head. By the way some dude from the Drama club wants his shitty McWispy beard back.

Coming Soon

Monday, September 12, 2005

Season 4 Is Lookin Like A Doozy

BONUS: Lucky For Y'all

I Can't Decide Which One.


Ya Let The "Playmobil" Security Slip One Day.....

Photoslop Monday: OC's Finest RPG (Role Playing Geek)

I'm posting 2 pics today. Use either or both, you make the call. Please have all submissions in by Tuesday 9:00PM PDT. If you are not a member of the SmartPatrol and wish to participate send your entry to me. Click on Mr. DNA, under contributors, for the email address.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

PBS Finally Crosses The Line

New Show Angers Some Disturbs Others

(Orange County, CA) - The Public Broadcasting System in a partnership with Tobyco Inc., unveiled their new lineup of children's programming at a Winchell's in downtown Santa Ana.

Most of the new shows ("Uncle Armao's A Million Questionable Things To Do Without Leaving Your Apartment" and "Turnbaugh's Torturuous Treehouse") went off without so much as a whimper or slight shriek. Most were just happy to not be hit up for cash.

The last show to be revealed was "Teletobies". The shining crown that was once PBS's heralded legacy of children's television programming was immediately swept up in controversy.

"So that's really a show then huh? - Wow.", said Beatrice Huskerdu of Huntington Beach. An anonymous yet bewildered citizen of Costa Mesa added, "O.K., so which ones the gay one again?" For the most part open incredulous mouths adorned the room. Some sullenly ordered krullers and left, others just held their heads in their hands and went about the day the best they could.

Television will never be the same.

Friday, September 09, 2005

The Shape Of Things To Come?

When I was a kid, I had lots of Playmobil™ toys. They were 'the other Lego™' so obviously that was the one my parents got for me. Don't I sound like an ungrateful bastard? Thing is, and this is doozy... Playmobil was BETTER THAN LEGO.
You see it was character based, as opposed to brick based. It was all about people and not so much about a fort or a pirate ship (both were available and were fricking cool, therefore I didn't get them). Playmobil™ emphasized inter-personal interaction. I remember a veritable Village People of figures, performaing all tasks of the modern world, and all with smiles on their faces.
Imagine how sad it is to see what the kids of today will consider 'typical play activity'...
Homeland Security Playmobil™ - See how fun it is to inspect other people's belongings.
Detain suspicious (and certainly French-looking) individuals. Note how happy he is to cooperate with the authorities.
Abandon your post for the union mandated 15 minute smoke break. Note the uninspected baggage slipping through the tight security... you better hope that's a hair dryer.

This playset is currently available from seriously what has happened to the world?

Coming soon:
Playmobil™ Hurricane Katrina Superdome Refugee Detention and Retraining Center Playset: - some dissassembly required.

thePrisoner (needs a hug)

adam gOLD: Get it?

Adam Keith Gold has a secret life, and a secret smile.
Click here to see Adam Gold and his posse. (hint, look for the "Adam on Fire" gif)

Cheese Friday: The Ike Austin CheeseBoot™

"...a personal podiatric cheese making device for organic food, and also FUN!"

"...consider this: the beauty of the CheeseBoot™ system is that it HARNASSES the FOOTS OWN BIOTHERAML POWERS and puts them to work, killing the bad bacteria, while offering a moist and musty environment essential for the flourishing of good bacteria and infectious yeasts..."

Use your feet in a Science project you can eat, if you're into that.

Click here for more.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Thursday Goes Blogless

What's up?
Not much I guess.
Peace Out.

thePrisoner (has little to say)

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Tech-y Geeky Update: New Quicktime

Tech-y Geeky Update: New Quicktime

Blah Blah Blah WINDOWS. Blah blah NEW VERSION. Blah.


OK - Here as a public service to our Windows using readers. There is a new version of Quicktime available for download.


The only reason I bring this up is that the new version supports a flavor of mp4 called h.264 which you will probably be hearing a lot about (blah) but if we decide to post any video on this site there is a good chance it'll be h.264 which won't matter if you've already updated to Quicktime 7. You see, I'm all about helping out, folks.

Seriously. Update good, go update.
Then click HERE

thePrisoner (sending love to th'Windows)

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Mr. Kane goes to Pre-School

Mrs. DNA getting Mr. Kane ready for his big day.

Don't forget to brush your teeth.

Mr. Kane hesitates, but decides to stay on course.

We arrive at our destination.

Mr. DNA is very proud indeed. "I did it Daddy!"

Mr. Kane after a long day at Pre-School.

Red Cross Link

The American Red Cross

In case you haven't yet.

Happy Birthday Uncle Toby!

Little man Kane wanted to wish his favorite Uncle Toby a happy birthday.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Pandawatch 05! The Temecula zoo has it's newest member!

Temecula CA: At 4:47 this morning the Inland Empire's Panda population jumped to a whopping 5! That's right folks Temecula's very own Kisspanda's welcomed newest addition Toby. The Kisspanda's have nabbed headlines from Fontana to Norco ever since they overtook the title of top Inland Empire Funstop from Keegan Bartlett owner of the world's 4th largest collection of Marlon Wayan's pants. When contacted Mr. Keegen exclaimed "Since when does Pandas fuckin' outrank Marlon Wayan's pants!!?!" Panda leader Genepanda plans to market a new line of Tobypanda plushies in the gift shop soon as soon as fucking possible.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Today's Birthday Guy!

If I'm not mistaken this Mr. DNA @ 26 years old.

Cheese Friday: eat to live...


It's Guy's day, all day suckers. Be sure and check in with Mr. DNA and wish him the best on his birthday.