Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Too Late For Emperor Tildotine? (I Have Many Excuses...)

Fun To Look At.

This is cool.

Last minute entry: ineligible

Toby tried to squeeze it in, but I had to say no.

Photoslop Monday wrapping up

Anyone who wants to participate in the inaugural PSM needs to post by 8:00 pm PST tonight (this means YOU Andy).
If you're not a member of this board you can email me your entry. Click on my name to the right to get the email address.

We'll try and work out the parameters for future PSMs and post them soon.

-Mr DNA (can make you look more purdy)

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Bam Sausage


It was a while ago. I needed the money.

thePrisoner (will save you)

Monday, August 29, 2005

Can I have an A h-mein?!

Photoshop Monday: Quick & Dirty (Fireworks MX Edition)

Photoslop Monday: Better late than never?

I checked my email and found out Toby had asked me to post the pic for Photoslop Monday. I could take this as an honor, or I could assume he doesn't have any follow through. But most likely it's because Toby has sporadic online connections, and figured it would be better to have me take care of things.

Lets get the ball rolling with something that is not topical but always easy to make fun of, TV Evangelist crap.

-found through boing boing, linked from flickr, uploaded by Chainbreaker

Photoshop Picture Day?

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Sept. 18th is "Speak Like A Pirate" Day

so get ready...

My pirate name is:

Mad Tom Rackham

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from

Friday, August 26, 2005

Cheese Friday: Cheese on the Asphalt

'Cheese byproduct' spill closes I-215
ACCIDENT: The crash at the Highway 91 interchange seriously injures four people.
10:40 PM PDT on Wednesday, August 24, 2005
By SARAH BURGE / The Press-Enterprise

The southbound lanes of Interstate 215 at the Highway 91 interchange in Riverside were closed during the Wednesday morning rush hour after a big rig overturned around 2 a.m., spilling hot, steaming "cheese byproduct" onto the roadway.

Four people, including the driver of the truck and a teenager riding in a car involved in the accident, were seriously injured.

Battalion Chief Mike Fisher of the Riverside Fire Department said the cheese byproduct, which came from Golden Cheese Co. in Corona, smelled foul and was "flowing like a river."

At least two people suffered severe burns to their feet from the hot liquid.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Photoslop Monday, anyone?

As the last couple of posts reflect, The Smart Patrol has mad photoshop skills on tap. So how about I post a photo on Monday and you guys take a couple of days to slop it up and re-post? Who's in? Use the comments.

thePrisoner (please don't take my picture, I'm having a bad hair day)

Comment Freely

OK, the good folks at Blogger have upped some of their security measures, so now only blogger users and not just The Smart Patrol's contributors can leave comments. Go ahead, Lily!!

thePrisoner (no comment)

one more rework

Mild Injuries mar backyard 'cook-out'.
by thePrisoner
"A slight mishap" was the only thing that prevented the afternoon from being perfect, an unnamed attendee lamented after being treated for smoke inhalation.
The incident was attributed to a defective wienie.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Blogger 'fixes' Photo For Cheap Laughs

Mild Injuries mar backyard 'cook-out'.
by thePrisoner
"A slight mishap" was the only thing that prevented the afternoon from being perfect, an unnamed attendee lamented after being treated for smoke inhalation.
The incident was attributed to a defective wienie.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Mr. Kamikaze's BBBQ a 'qualified' success

Mild Injuries mar backyard 'cook-out'.
by thePrisoner
"A slight mishap" was the only thing that prevented the afternoon from being perfect, an unnamed attendee lamented after being treated for smoke inhalation.
The incident was attributed to a defective wienie.

Friday, August 19, 2005

thePrisoner Geeks Out.

I just figured out why I want an Xbox.
This Spartan Life is a talk show where the interviews are conducted inside Halo2 on Xbox Live. I know it sounds wierd but check it out, for some reason this concept has absolutely blown me away. Red vs Blue is one thing but this is the closest thing to a real VR application ever.
I'm geeking a bit, but check it out.

thePrisoner (suddenly needs an Xbox)

Cheese Friday: Royal Greetings

This guy claims to be the King of Cheese. He told me, to tell you, "...have a Happy Cheese Friday".

"Go forth and eat Cheese in my name."
- Stan, the King of Cheese.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Creepy Yet Strangely Hypnotic

I can't even explain it.

Just click here...

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Supercool and Neat-o

Check out VintageTips has some awesome design stuff by some dude who was a Disney guy once upon a time.

thePrisoner (wants a spaceship)

Monday, August 15, 2005

Does this smell funny to you?

Amazing Racist is a movie on ifilm. I don't remember who was telling me about it last week (sorry Guy I bet it was you), just today the link was sent my way.
I don't know if it's real (I hope it isn't) , and I know some folks will think it's funny. I didn't, but deep down I know I should be laughing.
But I didn't. It isn't funny.
I guess I'm a bleeding heart liberal after all.

thePrisoner (would charge more than $60 to build your deck)

Friday, August 12, 2005

Happy Cheeseweenie Friday

who'd believe?

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Spam Jerkoffs Spoiling Our Happy Home **UPDATED**

Some of our comments forums have been the unfortunate recipients of spam.
Unless we can find a way to keep ashwipes like JustBlaze1, Joshjpeg and Christopher (I'd post their phone numbers if I could) from putting their ads in our comments then we will have to resort to upping the security on the comments section.
I have reported them to the authorites (not as scary as it sounds) and deleted their sloppy attempts at viral marketing (halfwit mofos)

thePrisoner (less spam, more eggs beans and chips)

UPDATE: Sorry folks, the spam bastards have forced me to switch on the 'member's only' light. This is a temporary measure brought on by the above listed trespassers. Be sure and visit them (the above listed hucksters) and buy their fantastic products - or just set fire to a bag of dog crap, ring their doorbell and run away. Your choice, I would never advocate violence, unless I was sure I was going to get away with it.

If you want to be a member, and therefore able to reply & post to The Smart Patrol, just send me an e-mail.

This link's for you Jerry...

Click Here

Who's loving YOUR mama?

Chicken Peckers: Follow-up, Other Failed Restaurants.

Looks like these other restaurants didn't do any better.

thePrisoner (ate at Cock Blocker's - it was OK)

Please wipe accordingly.


... and shit your feet.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Hey Is That A Vein In My Bucket?

Caption: "Nobody better touch my nuggets™".
alt caption: "Home of the Throbbing Hush Puppies™"
alt caption: "Where you can supersize™ with just 147 strokes"
alt caption: "Because Pecker is another word for penis"
alt caption: "I'm gonna need more wetnaps™, a lot more"

I fully expect the feedback to contain much funnier captions for this photo.

thePrisoner (wants fries with that)

Bobby Wheeler Checks In From The Road.

EDITORS NOTE: Aren't you glad I didn't try and write some trite cutesy bullcrap "Hi, I'm the $20 bill" story right here? Don't think I didn't try, and don't think it didn't suck butt. You are welcome.

thePrisoner (mad photoshop skills, weak nunchuk skills)

Behold, the power of Hasselhoff !

I saw this on Boing Boing.

I was no match for the hypnotic power of Hasselhoff.

Please forgive me.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Cheese Friday: A Lesson in Moderation

... so much cheese, so little time.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

It Writes Itself - Over And Over And Over

Well, I'd say let's have a caption contest, but honestly -
every caption to this would be a winner.

It seems as if advertising has changed a bit in the last 20 or so years.