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Thursday, March 25, 2004
Man marries cash machine, demands asylum.
BOSTON,MA(TheBostonian) Vacationing elevator repairman, Thierry Alors-Burgiessé, 38 of France has something special to write on his postcards home. He's found himself a wife, and at the middle of a controversy. Alors-Burgiessé has surrendered himself to immigration authorities declaring that he is the spouse of a Siemens MiniBank 2100™ automated teller machine and demanding asylum while he pursues legal residency.
Though rare, the union is not unprecedented, in 1974 a Canadian woman claimed to be the wife of a coffee table in Ohio and requested temporary residency. Her request was declined when it was discovered that the woman was still married to a padded ottoman in Vancouver, BC.
Massachusetts law is unclear on the validity of Alors-Burgiessé's claim and is reviewing legal histories. However; Sieman's East Coast Service Supervisor, Thomas Gulliven has given the couple his blessing after examining the machine for signs of tampering.
"The MiniBank™ is a beauty" he agrees "I prefer the lines on our new Cash-o-Matic 2601™, myself but have to hand it to the French dude, congratulations and best wishes from all of us at Siemens!".
The couple is expected to settle in the west corner of the 7-11 market where they first met.
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