For some time now I have been waiting for her to find me. Some would suggest that love has to be sought out, nurtured and cultivated and a whole lot of 'hoo-ey'.
But, seeing that I am much smarter than most people, I concocted a plan of such elegant simplicity that the ramifications are yet to be truly appreciated.
I did nothing.
Rather than risk missing her by a minute due to a series of romantic comedy mishaps (see Serendipity... actually don't see Serendipity, but if you saw the trailer then you know what I mean) I decided that the smart money was on keeping still, and waiting her out.
I'm still waiting.
My mother (who is insane now, but used to be okay) told me that there was someone for everyone. A special person that God made just for you. I knew she was right, because I was six and so far Mom was batting a thousand. Ever since that day I've been wondering if my Miss Right was ever going to show up.
It is entirely possible that Miss Right lost my trail in 1988 when my family moved across the country to California for my Dad's work. While I did make several pleas to my parents, they decided that Miss Right or no, I should move with them to California rather than live in a tent in my friend's backyard (my original plan). I made sure that all our neighbors had the new address but Mrs. Grandt who lived next door was still holding a grudge from the time I set her fence on fire, so I can't be sure she held on to the index card with our address on it. She's dead now, so I'm not mad at her.
But I am getting mad at Miss Right( just kidding). After all, time is getting on. I have dodged any other forms of commitment to keep my options open for her arrival. Granted I have considered going and looking for her myself, but I was sure that was a recipe for disaster and decided to stick to my plan.
I am, however, listed in the phone book including my address. Unfortunately the phone book people don't accept photographs for inclusion so I'm just going to have to hope that Miss Right has enough gumption to work her way through to the Ws. (HINT: Start at the end of the book and work your way backwards). I also check with information (the 411 people) just to make sure that my listing is in order, at the moment they don't keep tally of how many requests there have been for my number, so I don't know if Miss Right has called yet. Maybe the phone company should consider adding that service, just an idea.
Three years ago I recieved a call from someone who could have been Miss Right, however I found it very doubtful that my Miss Right would only speak Spanish, and since my name is not Manuel Soto, I had to tell the woman on the phone that I was not her 'Señor Verdad' after all. As it turned out she was trying to reach Mr. Soto because he had not paid his cable television bill in four months and had no romantic interest in him whatsoever. However I wished her much luck on her search.
This Summer I will finally get approval from the city to put up my billboard(Fingers crossed). After eighteen months and six rejections from the planning commission, my billboard will go up on the corner of Seventeenth and Walnut. I would like to thank Mr. Gerald Bennett from next door for letting me put some of the billboard over his house as well as mine, Thanks Mr. B!
So as you can see, I've certainly done my fair share of the work here. So if Miss Right is out there, she really has no excuse for not finding me.
After all this, I still believe in true love.
Toby Wallwork
March 2004
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