So tomorrow morning I have a wonderful visit from the rapists formerly known as The Gas Company coming tomorrow to explain to me how they enjoy bending people over and doing them very very hard in their anus because of how good it makes them feel. Then I get to argue about how cooking once a week and having no other gas appliances can't add up to a $82 bill for a month.
Then SBC gets to have me (in an already cheery mood) call them and ask why they're charging me a late fee for a bill they never sent me. In the midst of that conversation I'm sure they will explain their passion for having their customers scar up their knees while "polishing their collective knob" over the amount of money they charge for inferior services.
Then the "cup duh grass", the city has sent us a letter stating that our fence (that has been up for almost two years and was verbally approved before and during construction by the city's code nazis) now must be moved back 10 feet from the sidewalk. Why? I suppose it's because all of the money the city is spending sending the police force out to investigate domestic vandalism (oh wait they never did send a cop out to us when they would have actually been welcomed) is killing their budget so they have to sap money from people somehow. After my ringburningly* angry message I left Saturday night on Mr. Ed Roberts machine, I have been unassigned from the fence argument by the lovely wife known as Kate. (Probably for the better as three arguments in one day with government and pseudo-government officials will probably drive me to killing quicker than expected)
So that's my Monday, coming soon to me in about 8 hours. I can't wait for that. Maybe when it's all said and done Hitler, Idi Amin and everyone else who is driven by the excesses of pure evil will come and drink all of liquor so I really have no relief....
*ringburner; ringburning; ringburningly - anything or anyone that makes your asshole burn like you've eaten nothing but jalapeño juice for the last 20 years.
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