Saturday, April 24, 2004

Atkins Will Kill (but only folks we don't need anymore anyway)

This is not an onion-styled story, this is real.

Fat Jerk Gets Kicked Out Of All-You-Can-Cram-In-Your-Hole

I'm not the low-carb hater that our buddy Jason is, but this story offends me in the biggest way. If you read it you will find that the protagonists, Isabelle Leota, 29, and her husband Sui Amaama, 26, went to some filthy little buffet restaurant, dropped $8.99 and stuffed their faces with roast beef. Eventually the manager had to eject them (I expect he needed a spotter to do this) but this was after Sui, (who shares his name with the love call of a pig) had returned to the buffet table for the 12th time. Read that again THE 12TH TIME?
Sui, you fat bastard, step away from the platter and go kill yourself.

After being asked to get the @#$% out, Sui and his porcine partner complained,
"But this is an All-You-Can-Eat Restaurant".
From what I hear Sui was chewing sticks of butter as he spoke.

If Doctor Atkins wasn't already dead wouldn't the egregious excesses being performed in his name clog up his arteries like a Nacho Cheese Triple Thick Milkshake?

How can anyone got back to the buffet for 11 times and think that 1 more trip will be within their diet plan's constraints? 12 of anything means you are not on a diet!!

Now I'm going to Subway™ to delude myself that eating fresh will make the pounds fall off.

toby

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