Saturday, August 21, 2004

"Time to pick on Florida again" or "Jeb Bush sucks"

First a quote from Governor Jeb Bush:
"God doesn't follow the linear projections of computer models,"
"This is God's way of telling us that he's almighty and we're mortal."

Is it also his way of telling Florida, "Of all my children, I dislike y'all the most"?

Hurricanes ravage Florida. Why is this news? Don't hurricanes ravage Florida with predictable regularity? Seems that whenever Florida is in the news it's because:

A) Somebody has lowered the bar on human decency AGAIN.
B) Hurricanes attempt to erase the sins of the entire state by shaking it up like an Etch-A-Sketch™.
C) All of the above.

Boy, that God sure likes to shout when a whisper'll do huh? I think that it is very telling that Jeb, (I can call him Jeb because I think he's a tool) seems to think that HIS god is of the old testamenty, fire-and-brimstoney, grudge holding red pick-up truck driving variety. As we all know Jeb and his brother the Pope President have a habit of dragging out God's good name whenever they feel like it, and waving it around like a confederate flag at a tractor pull. Given the shameful way Jeb conduct the affairs of state he must be pretty sure he's not going to be meeting 'the big guy' on 'the big day', so I guess that takes the pressure off. Nice one Jeb!

I can only imagine the comfort that the governor's words brought to the people of Stinkwater FL. (pop. 261) when Jeb clued them in to God's next plan; to put a mini-mall on the space he had just cleared by sweeping their 'manufactured homes' to the four winds.

"Finally, a Fantastic Sam's of our own, right here in town...Thanks God!"

ThePrisoner

The Prisoner is not a registered voter, however he invites all readers to vote early and often and is disappointed to lend his endoresement to the 'other guy' who "looks like a friggin' Shar Pei".

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