Thursday, August 03, 2006

Dentyne Dares.

Bravo, it's about time one of our big corporate 'better-thans' got off
their collective butts and started using their formidable influence to
get some stuff done.

This morning I stole a packet of Dentyne ICE from the desk of a
co-worker, no big deal, I bet he stole it from someone else. Anyway who
cares, this is not about me. Mind your own business.

On the reverse of the packet (the back part) directly above the barcode
(don't get me started on those things, invented by the Nazis in 1943-
look it up, I'm serious
) above the barcode in blue and white, I saw
something that made me literally almost drop dead of a heart attack.

DENTYNE-ISM #11
WHY IS IT ALWAYS AWKWARD
WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS IN A BAR?

I swear, I saw it with my own eyes! Dentyne is owned by Cadbury Foods
and loosly affiliated with The Freemasons (Scottish Rites) ever since
the MacKedzie Accord of 1874 (they agreed to destroy the alien remains
and cover the whole thing up, check wikipedia for that one
). Strong ties
indeed, and now they are bringing their considerable power to bear on
these issues, just putting it out there has surely shaken the
foundations of society. And this is just DENTYNE-ISM #11!!

How many more 'isms' are there? When will Dentyne reveal the answers to
their investigations? What possessed them to take such a big risk,
potentially causing repercussions and response from those who are out
there and who like it when it is awkward when the music stops in bars?
Braver souls than I, that is certain.

Hats off to Dentyne! The answers are out there you guys, go get 'em!

--name withheld

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