How to find, and lose, $200.
Last night me, my wife, and kids went to Target to get a couple of 99¢ pumpkin shaped candy buckets and a witch hat. As we're pushing our cart down one of the unpopulated Halloween isles, passing girls costumes that look too racy for an 18 year old even though they are meant for a 5 year old, I step on something sticky. I look to the floor to see what I stepped in, but my attention is immediately diverted. Two crisp $100 dollar bills folded neatly in half are right next to my foot.
I pick them up as fast as I can and show my wife.
"Check it out, we just won $200 for shopping at Target!".
My wife smiles from ear to ear (which if you knew her, is something quite rare).
But then our happiness quickly turns to dread.
My wife and I, almost in unison, ask each other, "What should we do?".
We ask each other this, but we both know what we will do.
We will turn it in.
We continue shopping. I'm dreading the moment when we go to the customer service counter and relinquish our new found fortune. I secretly hope that by the time we finish shopping we will have forgotten about the money burning an imprint in my wife's purse. If we forget, then we'll probably keep it, right? I mean, taking it back to the store would be a hassle, and things are very tight for us, and we could really use the money, and...
Of course neither of us forget. When we head over to customer service we're both hoping to see some archetype of integrity manning the counter. But no, a girl about 19 is standing there ready to help. She doesn't look shifty or anything like that, but I remember how I was at 19 and... C'mon, I was 19! My wife asks a few questions about how their lost-and-found works. Maybe she'll tell us they don't have a lost-and-found and there is no protocol at Target for reuniting people with lost items (a moral loop hole?). No, they have a great big book with names, dates and what was lost and/or found. The book appears very official. My wife asks about lost cash. The girl glances around uncomfortably. Maybe this is it! The loop hole! We can't turn it in! Then another girl (she must have been the supervisor because she looks 19 and a half) from 20 feet away says, "Just have her fill out the form and put the cash in the drawer". Awesome. I can already picture 'supervisor girl' taking the money and getting her older brother to buy a couple of kegs for the big Halloween party next week.
So as we're leaving the store I'm bummed. I didn't even get that, 'I did the right thing' good feeling. I just feel like a chump. But at least I have that gum on my shoe to remind me what a good person I am. Sweet.
In truth, even if there were no lost-and-found at Target we probably would have gone to the police station so they could have looked at us like we're idiots when we turned in the money. Why you ask? Why not keep it? Even though I know that most likely someone at the store will pilfer the cash?
This is how my brain works;
$200 dollars is a lot of money to me, and I imagine it was a lot of money to the person who lost it too. If there is ANY chance of the rightful owner retrieving THEIR money, money that THEY earned, or was given to THEM as a gift, I should try to give them that chance of getting it back.
If I don't care, why should I expect anyone else to care either?
-Mr. DNA (blames his parents)
